Sarcastic One Liners

   • I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

   • I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

   • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

   • If I throw a stick, will you leave?

   • Does your train of thought have a caboose?

   • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

   • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

   • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

   • See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

   • Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

   • A woman's favorite position is CEO.

   • I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

   • A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

   • Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

   • Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

   • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

   • Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

   • Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

   • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

   • Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

   • Never trust a dog to watch your food.

   • Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

   • If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And SeekCounseling.

   • You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

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